How I lost my “born again virginity” (Part 1)

As promised, today I will focus entirely on this special ceremony that I’ve mentioned in My previous post.

3 years ago I have decided that the best way to train My slave is to completely cut him off from any ability to penetrate a Woman. Forever.

I have achieved that by putting him into permanent chastity, meaning that his tiny clitty is locked in the cage 24/7/365. It comes off exclusively for torture or cleaning purposes (under My strict guidance and inspection, and it gets put immediately back on after it’s nice and clean).

Being in permanent chastity turned out to be very difficult for My slave, especially during the night time. Lying in the bed, right next to his beloved Mistress, smelling Her, seeing Her divine curves, being caressed by Her long blonde hair… So much pain for that clitty trying so hard to erect in it’s cage, ooooh 😦 I have decided to have some mercy and I’ve allocated him into the spare guest room. That room soon has been named the “slave bedroom”, as opposed to My “Master bedroom” 😉 My slave no longer has to suffer, he is left alone in his private room, sleeping comfortably on his tiny, single-man’s bed. That, on the other hand, made My independence complete. I could bring My lover home whenever I felt like. My slave no longer had an access to the Master(‘s) bedroom, only when I needed him to service Me (serving Me and My lover breakfast in bed, pleasuring Me orally, or cleaning the room, closet & the bathroom).

My primary lover is a female, and she is a submissive slut. In our relationship I’m the one who wears the strap-on. I never allow her to penetrate Me. So since I’ve made My slave a Born Again Virgin, and My lover doesn’t get to fuck Me either, that made Me penetration-free for almost 2 years (until I started dating men too). I could definitely feel the impact on My muscles. My pussy has become so tight that it made Me feel like a virgin… But it’s hard to describe it, really. I didn’t feel innocent like a virgin (because I wasn’t innocent at all), nor I felt mentally like a virgin. My clit was getting more action than majority of the white loser dicks will ever get. 😉 In a way I felt like a man. I was doing all the fucking in My house, and My only sexual pleasure came from oral and stimulating My clit. Seeing how pathetic My virgin bitch is in comparison, all locked away, knowing that his clit doesn’t get any action, and knowing that it NEVER will made Me always so wet.

But everything has it’s time and place. Even though I have really enjoyed Myself, I needed a change. A girly girl was trying to come out of Me. It may seem very shallow to some, but the urge to be f*cked was growing in Me. When I would masturbate I’d feel how tight I was, and I started to fantasize about having a large d*ck sliding inside of Me…

About a year ago I have decided to lose My “born again virginity”. My pussy was getting so tight, it felt like it’s on fire and needed to be stuffed… It’s hard to describe the feeling exactly. My slave would be so willing to help Me with that problem, there is nothing else on Earth that he would prefer to do over sliding his tiny clitty into his beloved Mistress’ pussy. Well… in his dreams. I felt like being power f*cked by a real man for a change.

I didn’t even know where to start, so I started slowly. I decided to have a whole big ceremony of slowly “stretching” My Pussy and getting it ready for some action. I will describe it in detail in a separate post, as it was also a big torment for My virgin slave.

To be continued…

My FLR 16 – Adding new flavors

As I have mentioned before, I’m a queer. I have an inner lesbian in Me, and that combined with My sadism makes Me really turned on to cuck My enslaved hubby with a lesbian lover. That does not mean, however, that I’m actually a lesbian. Obviously I married a man (or at least what used to be a man 😉 ) and despite My natural dominance and his submissive nature our relationship was pretty vanilla. We used to have “traditional” sex, something that My hubby loved… and still loves but isn’t allowed to have anymore.

I don’t allow My slave hubby to enter Me roughly for 2 reasons:

1. I love the feeling of taking away from him something that he enjoys the most.
2. I always preferred Pussy eating over penetrative sex.

And even though both reasons stay true, after 2 years of being completely penis free I started missing being penetrated. I guess I had completely different perspective in the past, as there were always so many men in my life wanted to have sex with me. I was simply overwhelmed with penis going into My vagina. Something that isn’t my favorite, but at the same time I definitely don’t hate it. I have realized that I actually like it, but in moderation. And it has to be done right! 😉

About a year ago I have decided to lose My “born again virginity”. My pussy was getting so tight, it felt like it’s on fire and needed to be stuffed… It’s hard to describe the feeling exactly. My slave would be so willing to help Me with that problem, there is nothing else on Earth that he would prefer to do over sliding his tiny clitty into his beloved Mistress’ pussy. Well… in his dreams. I felt like being power f*cked by a real man for a change.

I didn’t even know where to start, so I started slowly. I decided to have a whole big ceremony of slowly “stretching” My Pussy and getting it ready for some action. I will describe it in detail in a separate post, as it was also a big torment for My virgin slave. 😉

I have some friends who are very good at finding themselves young and well-endowed lovers. Some of them are single, some of them are married to a cuckold just like Me, but they all agree on one thing: “if you want to be f*cked well aim for a Black man”. I started going with them to the clubs they have recommended Me. I was approached by lots of handsome men each time I went there but I’m a picky girl… Long story short: throughout the past year I managed to meet some great lovers!

This adds to My slave’s torment greatly! I like to point out to him that sometimes his Mistress needs to be feminine too, and needs to be treated right. But he wouldn’t know anything about it so I have to find some other men. “you should thank them for pleasing your Goddess!” – I tell him. The look of his face is priceless! He’s exploding with humiliation and frustration – I know how much he would love to at least try handling Me like a man… Poor, poor virgin!

I know that the race is a serious matter, but I also like that factor in this whole thing. I love the fact that I’m a rich, White, very attractive and still young Woman who would have lots of options when it comes to finding a date, but chooses specifically to date only Black men. It feels like My Pussy is playing a role of an activist, fighting for justice, showing all those whitebois (especially the one that I keep locked at home 😉 ) that the time for payback has finally came! We no longer need frustrated white men, responsible for patriarchy and racism, for anything other than serving us! The Black people and the Women were historically oppressed by the same oppressor, and now we’re having fun without them! 🙂

And especially now that all of those injustices happened across America I feel very pleased to do My part by keeping My little white boi (I like that term, hehe 😛 ) pussy-free and in his place, while worshiping Black penis and giving passionate love to their owners! 🙂

Cucking My slave with other men isn’t My main “thing”, but it was always a possibility. My slave was well aware of My views, which you can read in My interview with him from 2.5 years ago:

“In Her eyes it is extremely inappropriate for a slave to penetrate a Female. Especially his own Mistress. Ever since I’ve become Her slave She can’t see me as a man anymore. Fully exposed, weak, and obedient male is a turn-off for Her and having me penetrating Her is just very awkward (in Her mind). She has informed me over the time that even if She would miss penetration She would seek it elsewhere. I will never appear on the list of possibilities when it comes to the people who can fuck Her. If She will ever miss being fucked by a man She will not consider me even for a second. It is heartbreaking for me, but that is how She truly feels about it and She just honestly told me that.”

To conclude, My cucky has been made a Born Again Virgin 3 years ago. I’m very pleased with our new lifestyle and his continued sissyfication. I believe the world would be a better place if more white men would be put in their place. 😉

Mistress Rebecca

The needed comeback

It’s been a while, and there were tons of changes in my personal life. Changes that make me really proud, especially now when all those horrific things are happening to Black people in America! I’m proud that my new lifestyle screams support to the oppressed.

Silence is racism, we all need to be very vocal about what’s wrong with the world. We all need to unite under the scream for justice: Black Lives Matter!

I’ll be back soon with continuation of my blog. There is so much to write about, and I really hope I’ll manage to find time to do it! 😉 In a meantime support the right cause!

“Yes” or “No” question with no proper answer

So I’ve been playing those games with My slave, asking him a “yes” or “no” questions. I will look him deep in the eyes while waiting for the answer, putting lots of pressure on him just by having concerned facial expression. My expression tells him “slave, you better answer right, the outcome will be enormous”. He really believed that one of those answers brings him hell, while the other brings him to heaven. Just recently he has learned that there is no proper answer and both bring hell. There is no way out, I’ve been asking him those questions just to fuck with him by giving him fake hope.

In our Domme-slave routine I am the one who cleans his clitty couple of times per week. The reason why I’m the one doing it is simple: I make sure that this isn’t pleasurable. I put a “glove” made out of harsh material so not only there is no skin contact between his Mistress and his clitty but it assures a proper and fast cleaning without any sexual stimulation. Usually the whole process is very fast:

I order him to fill the bowl with hot soapy water, undress and lie on a bed. I then take off My necklace with the key to his chastity device, open the lock. Usually the ball-ring stays on and I just remove the top part of the chastity. I then put on My “glove”, soak it well in the water and scrub his little thing. I do it very fast, drop the glove into the bowl and lock him back into his chastity so his clitty won’t enjoy freedom for longer than 30 seconds. For most of the times it doesn’t manage to get an erection that fast. There are exceptions, however. Especially when he was denied for looooong time. 🙂

Recently My subby’s little dickie didn’t get ANY action whatsoever for about a month! :O he was almost begging Me to just hump the floor, LOL. In the evening, during our cleaning routine he immediately got hard right after I’ve removed the chastity device. I tried to be very rough with the cleaning so it would go away, but it didn’t help! he apologized Me for the inconvenience but the erection was still there, so I’ve asked him: “Do you think you deserve to have an erection in front of your Mistress?”. he looked very confused and was thinking hard about the proper answer. The fact that he managed to finish all the chores on his list that day gave him lots of confidence, so without making Me wait any longer for the answer he said “Yes, Mistress!” A goofy smile appeared on his face, probably hoping for some action. I didn’t feel like having any of that, however. I squeezed his balls really tightly, looked him deep in the eyes and said: “I’m sure that in your fantasy land you deserve everything you’d wish for from your Mistress… THIS is reality where your Mistress has better things to do than entertaining your tiny dicklet, loser! your only purpose in life is to serve Me, so don’t ever make Me deal with your perverted fantasies of sexual interactions between a Mistress and Her slave! Understood?”

-“Yes, Mistress” he answered with the saddest face. “I’m sorry, Mistress”.

-“Oh, you will be sorry.” – I said while forcing the chastity on his now softer clitty. Then after the final “click” I ordered him to go to his slave-room and sleep there. “There you can dream all you want about things that you will never have. Just don’t get too cozy because you have lots of chores to do tomorrow!” 😉

The very next cleaning session resulted in the same ridiculousness. The tiny clitty got rock hard, hoping that towering 3 inches will make a Woman do something about it, LOL! This time I felt like teasing him a little bit. I started scratching his balls with My long, red nails – very gently. Just by doing that I made My slave moan and his dicklet shaking 🙂 I then asked the exact same question as last time: “Do you think you deserve to have an erection in front of your Mistress?” It looked like an obvious trap and he seemed to know the proper answer: “No, Mistress.”

-“Ohh… Since you don’t deserve it go get an ice bag this instance!” 🙂 After locking him up I ordered him to get his cleaning uniform (a pink apron that he absolutely hates) and start scrubbing the oven and the kitchen floor. I went to My closet and started dressing up. On My way out I’ve announced to him: “It’s still quite early, I was about to give you a handjob and let you cum all over My beautiful hands… But since you don’t deserve to even get hard in front of Me I’m going for a date. I’m going to spend a night with someone who deserves way more than that! Pathetic undeserving bitches like you are staying home and cleaning. When I come back home I want you to lick the floor in front of Me so you can prove Me how well you performed your duty. It shouldn’t be a problem licking it if it’s going to be perfectly clean, right?”

-“Yes, Mistress”

-“And by the way. you can forget about sleeping in My bedroom for the entire week. Why would a Woman like Me want to be anywhere near a loser like you who doesn’t even deserve to have an erection?”

-“Eh…”

-“Shut up! Get to work now.”

And I left for the night full of fun! 🙂

And all that just to fuck with him, just to show him how much power I have and to rub in his face how miserable his life is. It’s not like I was really about to give him that handjob, LOL. It’s not like I would give him any sexual favors based on his answer. It’s not like his wants or opinions matter – the only thing that matters in this relationship is My whim 🙂 I love My marriage! 😀

Mistress Rebecca

Female’s perspective on Female Led Relationship

I will be very honest here – I got extremely tired of people not being able to understand My lifestyle. My family, My slave’s family, some of My friends (luckily I surround Myself with very open-minded people, so most of My friends do actually understand Me very well), and even the people on the internet. For some reason people assume that there can be only 2 options when it comes to Female Led Relationship: either a Female is abusive or Her husband is a perv and makes Her do all those things and She is just a poor victim who tags along… I’m really sick of this attitude and complete ignorance in the topic. That’s why I didn’t feel like sharing My life with anyone – I stopped meeting My family, and I stopped writing My blog. I was just living the lifestyle of a true Dominatrix hidden from the world. But I guess it’s about time to come outside again and make an attempt of explaining things.

Let Me start by saying that I know where the second misconception comes from. The internet masturbators are spilling their fantasies all over the place. 😉 For some reason it is a common knowledge that men are perverted and have lots of sexual fantasies. So My question is: are Women worse than men? They can’t be perverted or have dark sexual fantasies? I most certainly am very perverted and very proud of it. Ever since I was little I had lots of weird fantasies and I loved to mess with boys. I would push their buttons to make them cry or get mad at Me in front of adults so they will get in trouble. I just like to see males suffer, that’s how I am. I was born this way.

As I have described in My past articles I do have some experience with vanilla relationships and I am not a “men-hater” (whatever that means). The problem was always the same: those relationships would bore Me to death and I wouldn’t necessarily feel comfortable with penis entering My Pussy. I have found Women to be way more attractive and sex with them wouldn’t require Me to be penetrated by anything. There was always something missing in those, however. Someone on the bottom, someone who will dance to whatever I play, a test dummy who would take care of all My  sadistic needs. Also I’m not completely gay so it’s nice to have an option of using a male’s face to bring Myself to an orgasm, from time to time. 😉

This specific relationship that I have may seem like a typical male’s fantasy but it’s just a perfect fit for Me. Having a sexy Female lover + an enslaved hubby is the best of both worlds and such a greedy, dominant and perverted Woman like Myself needs all of that to Herself! 🙂 It’s funny for example that one of My family members who knows about My lover thinks that this is My hubby’s idea who simply just fantasies about being cucked by another Female. My pathetic slave doesn’t even get to touch her and he wishes very much that She wouldn’t come as often as she does so he could replace her in sexual services that she is providing Me with. Instead he has all the other responsibilities that don’t involve My presence.

I do realize that I may be a freak and there certainly aren’t many Women like Me but on the other hand what is there not to like? 😉

I really love to be viewed as God by My slave.

I love to see the awe on his face and in his eyes each time he’s looking at Me.

I love to have all the power that I have. I love to torment My puppet in any way, form or shape I desire.

I love to see his penis packed in it’s tiny cage, knowing that it is losing the rest of it’s potent life there and will never fuck any Pussy ever again. And it’s all because of My whim.

I love having no responsibilities, having all the unpleasant chores done by My slave and virtually all of the money from his work deposited into My personal account.

I love being an egocentric maniac, talking about Myself all the time, while My slave carefully listens and never interrupts Me with his own stories. That’s because he doesn’t have any, by the way. To have them he would need to have a life, and he doesn’t. His whole life evolves around Me. 😛

Again I will ask: what is there not to like? I’m sitting right now comfortably on My sofa while eating a delicious desert – something that My slave may never consume. I’m home alone, My slave is still working very hard to maintain his needy Mistress. I had a wonderful day filled with delicious food and lots of shopping. Also a massive orgasm sponsored by My favorite Hitachi Magic Wand 🙂 There is a pile of dishes and My sweaty clothes waiting for My slave to take care of after he gets back from work. Soon I will be making plans with M. (My girlfriend) for tomorrow’s date. I love every second of My life! 🙂

Mistress Rebecca

Fast updates on My FLR

Lately I’ve been very busy with boring, everyday life stuff. Because of that, and because of couple of other reasons, I really had no time to blog. That, however, doesn’t mean that I had no time to terrorize My slave-puppet 😉

My lesbian relationship is flourishing, My pathetic virgin is working hard for his Mistress getting nothing in exchange. Everything is on a good path. 🙂 So many things have happened that I never got a chance to describe… Hot Valentine’s Day dates, a big release day for My Pussy-free loser, family reunion, and many more. I will try to dig in My memory and bring those amazing moments back to all of you, as they are truly worth it! 🙂 Please expect to hear from Me soon! In a mean time kisses to all the girls out there and lots of frustration to all the male losers reading My blog 😉

My FLR 15 – So useless

The new year presented itself with radical changes. They were not planned at all, everything was very spontaneous. My new love for M. turned Me back into a naughty and wild lesbian who can’t figure out “why do men even speak?”. Maybe that’s why My slave spent so far most of his time at home gagged. 🙂 I can’t really find any use for him other than work and house duties. He still does get to serve Me, but not sexually. It’s more like “bring Me a glass of wine”, “slave, I need a stool for my legs”, etc. 🙂

My poor little virgin did not even get to see any Pussy ever since 2018 started. My sexuality is currently devoted purely to My lovely slut. While he works, performs his chores or is in a heavy rubber bondage locked away deep in the basement, we have all sort of wild sexual fun! Licking eachother on the couch in the living room, fucking her with My strap-on in My bedroom, etc. I always wanted to embrace My gay Me even deeper and 2018 seems to be all about that! I feel truly blessed.

With the time M. has become more aware of the specifics of My relationship with Justin. She learned to love it and to amuse herself with it. Seeing My power over My pathetic slave she also has become more submissive to Me. She likes to play lots of games and last weekend when all 3 of us were at the house I took advantage of the situation and decided to torment both of them at the same time. We have a hook installed on the ceiling in the living room. It is perfect for lots of things… This time it served to tie their hands and attach the rope to it. They were facing each other, connected with the double ball gag (you can see one HERE). My slut had to wear 6-inch high heels so their faces would be on the same level 🙂 They were pretty much forced to look deep into each other’s eyes all the time. I also tied them together with a rope around their waist. My slave-boi was, obviously, securely locked in his chastity. and the chastity device was wrapped in a condom, so there would be absolutely no risk of him getting his inferior pre-cum anywhere near My lover. M. was wearing a lovely skirt with no panties on. That way My slave could not see Her Pussy but it would allow Me an easy access to it at any time I wished.

I left them standing like this for about an hour while I was relaxing on the couch, eating and watching a movie. From time to time I just glanced at them with a huge smile on My face. They could not see Me, as they couldn’t move their heads. All they could see was misery on each other’s faces! 🙂

When the movie was over I went upstairs to My closet and decided to dress as My favorite super-villain – the rubber clad dominatrix with a big rubber strap-on! 🙂 I came downstairs and started touching My girl from behind. I started kissing her on her neck and cheeks, then I lifted her skirt a little bit and inserted My dildo into her lovely tight Pussy. I started fucking Her very hard – she was trying to scream really badly through the ball gag and My male slave’s eyes were popping out of the sockets from the tiny bits of the action he managed to see through M.’s head! 🙂

That was a truly lovely weekend! 🙂

❤

Mistress Rebecca

Don’t worry, 2018 brings even more misery to My slave

A Mistress doesn’t have to be sorry for anything, nor She has to follow any schedules. Therefore I am not sorry for not posting here for such a long time but I do feel like writing about the reasons. 😉

My lesbian side took complete control over My sexuality ever since I’ve started dating M. At this point My slave no longer even gets to see My Divine Pussy, let alone taste it. I’ve been on couple of wonderful trips with My sexy slut to give 2018 a wonderful start. 😉 I was too busy being a tourist during the day and being a bull during the night. Each hotel we’ve been to was overwhelmed with our screams caused by wild sex. 🙂 While we had all that My human-worm continued his miserable routine consisting of work, house chores and sleeping alone in his tiny room. To make sure that he won’t get too comfy being all alone at home I locked the bedroom (yes, we do have a lock on our bedroom door! 😀 ) so he would not use the matrimonial bed nor get any reminders of Me by going trough My closet. 😉

I will soon write some more!

Mistress Rebecca

Merry XXXmas, slaves!

I wish every slave lots of chastity time, frustration, denial and hard work for your Mistress! 🙂

Interview with My slave

So finally it is! It was lots of work, that’s why I had to take My time. All subbies should remember: a Goddess has no dead lines! 🙂

I’d like to thank everyone who expressed interest in this project by posting questions to My slave. I have picked the most relevant questions (I’ve tried to pick as many as possible!) and organized them into this interview. The process of the whole thing looked like this: I was lying comfortably on My bed and asking the questions to My slave who was kneeling on the floor in front of My face. I instructed him to be very honest and say whatever he really thinks. This way his presence on this blog is limited to zero, as it should be. 😉 I have divided the interview into the topics, and I started with the question that have appeared multiple times from multiple readers! 🙂

 

FLR – Female Led Relationship:

1. Do you realize how lucky you are?

Of course! It’s absolutely amazing to serve a Goddess like my Mistress. Nothing comes for free, however, and such a privilege costs a lot. A whole life and a slave’s soul, to be exact. Once you lower yourself to this position, sell your soul, and expose all your weaknesses there is no way back.

2. How did Mistress Rebecca’s domination of you evolve from you presumably being equal partners in your relationship to now often having no say in the cruel things that happen to you?

Well, we were never equal partners. It was clear from the beginning who’s personality is dominant and who’s submissive. My Mistress always knows how to get what She wants and I’m just a sucker for beautiful, dominant Ladies.

Ever since we’ve met I was in a role of a gentleman, offering Her anything She would like. I’d open doors for Her, give Her a ride, invite to good restaurants, buy nice presents. Mistress Rebecca, on the other hand, was a self-declared queer, very skeptical of males, having lots of experience in “non-traditional” relationships. I had to be very stubborn in order to win Her heart. Being somewhat financially successful and having very high cunnilingus skills definitely helped in keeping Her on my side.

The whole process of converting our relationship to the true FLR was long. Everything was happening gradually, good communication on both sides was the key.

3. Is there anything you hate so much that you would change your decision prior to your commitment to Mistress Rebecca?

Yes, there are LOTS of things that I hate! However it was never up to me to pick what I want and what I don’t want. My commitment was very clear: give all the power over my life to my beloved Mistress.

4. Do you ever regret bringing this life-style to the attention of your wife, I assume it has developed beyond what you had expected and perhaps hoped for?

Sometimes, especially when there is a struggle inside of me between the masculine instincts and my submissive nature. It doesn’t help when I see my Mistress’ Divine Body exposed either naked, semi-naked or dressed in some sexy clothes! The horniness can be so strong that it takes over my mind and I begin to sin. My mind is filled with lust, ill thoughts and I view my Goddess as an object to fuck. I then regret giving Her ABSOLUTE power to do whatever She wishes. I wish that one thing She would not be able to do: to take away the ability to penetrate my own Wife. I miss sex so much, I miss Her sweet, tight, lovely Cunt!

This, however, has become a very important part of our new life and in a long run I don’t regret anything. I wanted to be in Her full control and I am. She was the one who chose every single aspect of our relationship. I didn’t have any “requests” other than wishing to do whatever She wants!

5. Do you have sometimes weak moments, during which you have trouble in trusting your Mistress that She has your best interests in mind and would not do something to actually hurt you? Even just for a brief moment, where things get maybe a bit intense.

No, absolutely never. Mistress Rebecca is very cruel but She is also very intelligent and knows very well the limits of reality. Besides, my best interest is to be able to do my best at serving Her, so if She would do something against my interest She would go against Her own as well. 😉 I fully trust my Goddess and even during the darkest, longest, the most frustrating and painful punishments I know that She will be back.

6. How do you feel you have developed as a person in your devoted servitude to Mistress Rebecca?

I have developed into a religious fanatic. I worship my God every second of my miserable existence. Mistress Rebecca is my God and whatever She says is my Decalogue. That may seem like a weird development for many but hey! This lifestyle is definitely not for everyone.

7. If you could be in fantasy land and decide every aspect of this relationship yourself, what would it look like?

In the fantasy land I wish I would be able to sexually satisfy my Goddess and be able to penetrate Her at least on some rare occasions. I also wish I wouldn’t have to work and could spend more time with Her.

8. If there was one BDSM activity you could ask your Mistress to engage in (one she is currently not engaging in) which one would that be?

I really don’t know. I just do whatever Mistress wants me to do, so I don’t even bother to pick my favorite BDSM activities.

9. What do you dislike the most about the current status and the punishments you endure?

I think it’s pretty obvious by now that my most hated thing is my born again virginity. Aside from that I also hate being left for too long in the isolation bondage. I carve the presence of my Mistress so much!

10. Which punishments or treatments do you ‘enjoy’ the most?

I don’t think I enjoy any punishment. All of Mistress Rebecca’s punishments are really impossible to enjoy. If I would enjoy any of the punishments I could think that my wonderful Mistress is doing something wrong, which She’s obviously not!

11. Were there ever points in time where you thought that this may end in something that you didn’t want?

All the time. And those thoughts often become reality. As an example: the last time my Goddess started to have a Period I feared that She may just put me away in the Sensory Deprivation Bondage. I was working a lot that week and I really wanted to spend some time with Her, be able to see Her, serve Her, be around Her and maybe even cuddle Her if She would be in a mood. Unfortunately my Mistress has decided to store me in the basement. At night I had to go to my slave room to sleep alone in my small bed. I didn’t want any of those things to happen, I absolutely hate Sensory Deprivation Bondage (especially when left in it for most of the day in a diaper) but this is how it ended, because my Mistress didn’t feel like having my presence. And because She knows how much I hate it – that’s what turns Her on.

 

your Goddess – Mistress Rebecca:

12. Which behavior of your Mistress do you like the most?

I like… LOVE everything about Her! Her strong character, Her cruelty, Her sexuality, Her divine status. She is impossible to resist!

13. When experiencing pain does the fact you know your Mistress is gaining sexual pleasure from that allow you to take more than you ever thought possible.

Absolutely! Nothing turns me on more than Her sexual pleasure. I love seeing Her getting it as much as possible.

14. When in bondage and uncomfortable do you envision your Mistress happy and does that mitigate the experience so you can relax and endure more than you ever could before.

Yes. Sometimes I am unable to relax right away. Especially when put in full sensory deprivation bondage after the full day of work. I’m so desperate to see my Mistress, to be near Her, to smell Her. Frustration takes over and I start to feel very sorry for myself, cry and think how unfair all this is. Knowing that I’m in this situation because of my Goddess turns me on very much, and then I start to think about Her. “She put me in here because She felt like She doesn’t need my presence. She has to have a good time by Herself” – and this brings lots of warmth into my heart!

15. What would happen if you disobeyed an order from Mistress Rebecca?

I get punished. Duh. Punishments are always different and unpredictable. They completely depend on Mistress’ mood and whim. In a way this is way scarier than knowing what’s coming.

16. What areas of your service to Mistress Rebecca could you improve on?

I have to work on being patient and controlling my boyish horniness.

17. What part of your Mistress’ body gives you the most pleasure?

Her hands, if we’re talking strictly about sexual pleasure for my clitty. There are no other parts of Her body that would ever touch my penis – maybe aside from Her divine feet and lower legs when sometimes on very rare occasions She allows me to hump.

If we’re talking about pleasure in general then I would say Her Divine Pussy. Being able to lick it is so hot, no other part comes close when it comes to worshipping!

18. Is your Mistress sensitive in someway?

Yes, She is. She likes to feel sorry for me sometimes and tease me about it.

19. Do you want sometimes just take Her because She is your Wife and you can do that?

I absolutely can NOT do that! She is my Mistress and She doesn’t allow me to “just take Her”. But if we’re talking about pure fantasies then yes, of course. I often dream of taking Her when I go to sleep. I tell that Mistress sometimes and She laughs. She thinks it’s cute and pathetic at the same time as “there are no chances of that ever happening in the reality”.

20. What is the most degrading thing Mistress Rebecca has made you do?

She made me answer some questions in front of Her new Girlfriend. Questions like “are you allowed to have sex with your Wife?” and then ordered me to show Her my caged clitty. It was especially embarrassing because Her Girlfriend is a young, very attractive Female.

21. What is the most miserable situation Mistress Rebecca has put you in?

Denying me everything – even Her presence. Especially when it lasted for days. The weekend came and I was just put away for most of the day in the bondage, after I was done with all the chores. Immobilized, blindfolded, gagged and deaf. Not being able to see, feel. nor hear my Goddess. Truly miserable!

22. Does it continue to humiliate you when Mistress Rebecca exhibits you to friends or in public or are you so used to this treatment it no longer makes you uncomfortable?

Yes, it does continue to humiliate me. I don’t think I’ll ever be used to it, I’m very scared of what others think and Mistress knows it very well. And She of course uses it against me purely for Her own amusement.

23. Which of your Mistress’ two recently started Female Friendships you regret the most & which if you had the choice would you most like to see stop. Are you more jealous that ‘M’ has taken your place in your bed or would you like to see her stay there if it meant that the visits from Mistress Scarlet (& all that that entails) would stop.

Well, Mistress Scarlet was the one who has inspired my Mistress to make me a Born Again Virgin… She personally guided my Mistress on how to convert Her slave (that is: me) into a virgin puppet. So to answer your question: I’d much rather not be a virgin and let my Mistress enjoy M. as much as She wants, hoping that She won’t drain Her completely and there will be still something left for Her loyal slave!

24. What is your take on your Mistress’ new female relationship — how it affects you mentally?

It’s very degrading! They are both so hot and I can’t have any of them. I can’t fuck my Mistress but yet She gets to fuck this hot young Female… This is so unfair!

25. What would it mean to you if your Mistress never used you for your sexual services again (e.g. because She can have that satisfaction from Her Lesbian or another male lover)?

I’d probably forget about my virginity and beg to just lick Her Pussy. I love Her Divine Pussy so much!

 

 BAVS – Born Again Virgin Status:

26. If you read Mistress Scarlet’s blog did you ever think that you would ever become a Born Again Virgin like bitch boy?

My Mistress is a regular reader and She made me read it too. She got inspired on Mistress Scarlet’s blog with the BAVS. On the beginning I thought She is just teasing me with this idea and I didn’t really think it will happen to me. I felt terribly sorry for bb. Now I feel sorry for myself as well.

27. Did you know when you last had sex that it would be the very last time you would ever have sex?

No, but I did know how my Mistress is – what She likes and what She dislikes. I knew very well that penetration is not Her favorite thing in the world. Each time we had traditional sex I felt like She is doing me a favor. I tried to do my best and make Her cum so She will allow me inside of Her more often. My Mistress however didn’t think that it is appropriate for me to be allowed inside of Her ever since my status was lowered to a subhuman. She said that She can’t see a submissive as a man and She doesn’t feel aroused when such a creature is entering Her.

Couple of months before becoming BAVS my Mistress ordered me to always use condoms whenever gained the privilege of penetrating Her. She told me that my inferior semen is not worthy to be inside of Her.

28. Forever is a very long time…what are your feelings of NEVER again penetrating with your clitty?

I feel terrified every time I think about it! Sex has become so distant to me that it almost feels like it’s not real. My Mistress trains me so hard on this aspect of our relationship that in my mind intercourse is a synonym of “IMPOSSIBLE”.

29. Have you truly accepted your permanent Born Again Virgin status or do you still hold onto some slim hope that one day your Mistress will relent and allow you to experience sex like a real man again?

I still fantasize about it and I have silly hopes that it will come true one day. However I wouldn’t dare to even suggest that it is a realistic hope. I know my Mistress very well and when She decides something there is no way of going back under no circumstances.

30. To be denied that simple pleasure, as being allowed to penetrate, is a terrible thing. Do you regret giving your Goddess this power?

Again, my Mistress can do whatever She wants. It was about Her full power over my life, there was no room for cherry-picking!

During the early stages of our relationship I expressed interest in being under Her control. She eventually said that it’s either ALL or NOTHING. “If we’re going to build a Female Led Relationship, then I will decide on every single aspect of that relationship” – She said.

31. What is the reason your Mistress has decided to make your Born Again Virgin Status permanent? Permanent is such an extreme!

There are 4 reasons:

1. My Mistress is a sadist and She simply loves to take away what I love the most from me. That gives my Mistress incredible power-rush. It makes me, on the other hand, very miserable and Mistress enjoys seeing me in this state.
2. My Mistress is my God, and She wanted to prove me that She can do whatever She wants. Making me a virgin is a constant reminder of how much power She has over me.
3. She prefers cunnilingus over penetration.
4. In Her eyes it is extremely inappropriate for a slave to penetrate a Female. Especially his own Mistress. Ever since I’ve become Her slave She can’t see me as a man anymore. Fully exposed, weak, and obedient male is a turn-off for Her and having me penetrating Her is just very awkward (in Her mind). She has informed me over the time that even if She would miss penetration She would seek it elsewhere. I will never appear on the list of possibilities when it comes to the people who can fuck Her. If She will ever miss being fucked by a man She will not consider me even for a second. It is heartbreaking for me, but that is how She truly feels about it and She just honestly told me that.

32. How has your life improved now that you are a Born Again Virgin?

I’m more in awe of my Mistress than ever before.

33. As a BAV would you give up your testicles, i.e. castration if Mistress so requires?

I’m really terrified of ideas people have on the internet. I truly hope that I will never have to give them up!

34. Why do you do it? If you don’t like sex you don’t have to have it. What is the point of being in a relationship with a woman without sex?

This is an example of extremely arrogant question. So you think that the only reason of being in a relationship with a Woman is to have sex? Love can exist without sex. Sure it’s hard but in my case it is totally worth it!

 

Chastity:

35. What chastity device are you kept in and has it ever been ‘upgraded’ to a smaller version?

Mistress Rebecca has variety of chastity devices but the one that I’m locked in for the most part of my life is CB-6000.

My Mistress has expressed interest in shrinking my clitty but so far there are no big changes and no need for a smaller version.

36. On average how often are you “released” from your chastity device for “relief”…and what does your “relief” normally entail.

It is very irregular, and completely depended on my Mistress’ whim. Sometimes my clitty doesn’t get any attention for 2 weeks, sometimes I can cum couple of times per week.

Luckily for me my Mistress enjoys stroking my little “thing” so if She’s in the mood I get a handjob from Her. A lot of times I am obligated to wear a condom. Sometimes I am allowed to hump my Goddess’ incredible legs (only the lower parts of them) and cum on Her shoes. I always have to clean all the mess my clitty makes.

37. Have you ever been kept denied so long, you have ended up having a wet-dream?

Yes, and it is embarrassing for me to talk about it. My Mistress wrote about one of those situations in Her My FLR 11 – Too much to handle

38. How do you manage the frustration and how do you overcomes the extreme urgency to feel pleasure at least, when your Mistress submits you in those (hot) situations like the one when She didn’t let you remove the chastity device to stroke yourself ? How did you manage to go to sleep after such a “heavy” experience?

Well, I didn’t manage that situation at all. I tried very hard to cum while locked in chastity… Which is near to impossible! It got me so excited, however, that I violated Mistress’ safe-space and touched Her body without Her consent.

Since I was ordered to take a cold shower going to sleep wasn’t that hard. It calmed me down a lot.

39. How you manage to hold between releases and opportunities to feel at least pleasure? 

I concentrate a lot. Concentrate on hard work and on serving my Mistress. It is absolutely possible, look at some religions that require such a commitment to God. And Mistress Rebecca is my God, so it’s a very religious thing.

 

Chores:

40. Is there any chore you particularly like or dislike?

I love serving my Mistress food and wine! Kneeling in front of Her, knowing that She is enjoying Herself and waiting for more orders is a beautiful thing!

I also like to be Her human-furniture but that can get a little bit annoying if it lasts for too long.

41. What are your worse menial chores you have to do?

Cleaning the stove and oven with my toothbrush.

42. Do you have (had) any training for your domestic skills, e.g. massage, cleaning or cooking courses?

Yes, my Mistress sent me to some of those. I also had to learn to cook some of Her favorite dishes.

43. On a scale from 1 to 10 how close are you to living up to your Mistress’ standards regarding your domestic chores?

That is a question for Mistress Rebecca, not me.

44. Do you receive ballet training, and if so what training and punishment are given?

I don’t receive ballet training.

45. What happens when you’re sick (say caught a cold or the flu)? Are you allowed a break or do you have to keep up with all your chores?

If it is a minor thing then I have to keep up with all the chores but I then get to go to bed early. Unfortunately that means that I’m sent to my slave-room away from Mistress. She doesn’t want me to pass my sickness on Her so I don’t get to enjoy Her presence.

If the sickness would be more serious then I have only one responsibility: get better as fast as possible.

Luckily I rarely get sick.

46. What does work for your Mistress mean to you?

It means commitment and privilege. Serving Her is amazing and brings lots of satisfaction!

 

Diet:

47. Has Mistress put you on a strict diet and if so what does that look like? Is there anything you are not (ever) allowed to eat or drink?

I can’t ever eat sweets (especially candies) and drink alcohol (nor smoke cigarettes, by the way).

Being sober makes me my Mistress’ private chauffeur who is always ready to take an emergency ride and pick Her up (or give Her a ride) wherever She wishes. That way She never has to worry about getting drunk if She wishes to.

48. What’s it like being fed on scraps? Does this ever change to pet food if you have been unpleasing?

No, I never eat pet food. My Mistress cares about Her slave’s health and feeds me only good food. Her scraps still consist of a high quality food, since She eats like a Queen. And knowing that the food I eat was in someway processed by Her Divine mouth makes me excited. If She took a bite out of something then eating the rest of it means eating something that has Her saliva and teeth marks. ❤

49. What is the most inhumane thing that you have to consume?

The only thing like this is the dirt from the soles of my Mistress’ footwear. Other than that my Mistress always makes sure that I eat only healthy things.

 

you – the pathetic slave:

50. What do you think about yourself?

I don’t think about myself, I just think about my Mistress. 😉

51. Do you like yourself?

I think so, although I had some issues in the past. I’m a very weak man and before this relationship I just felt so incomplete.

52. Do you feel attracted to other Women?

Yes, I find M., my Mistress’ lover, very attractive.

53. Do you have dominance thoughts?

No. The most dominant thought I have is to ride my Mistress from behind and slap Her amazing ass.

— a very unrealistic fantasy (adds Mistress Rebecca with laughter).

54. In your opinion, if your Wife would ask you to make Her your slave would you be to Her as strict as She is now to you?

It is absolutely impossible for me to even imagine this kind of scenario. I am so deeply submissive and dominated by my Mistress that I can’t see how life could be any different. Even imagining sex with Her comes really hard sometimes, despite the fact that I did have that privilege in the past.

55. What does attract you?

Femininity, beautiful, delicate Females.

56. What does fulfill your slave life?

My Mistress, of course.

57. What does pain and humiliation mean to you?

A tool that helps putting a slave in it’s place. And that helps to remind the differences in statuses.

58. How fulfilled is your life as it is right now, what things do you strife for on a personal level aside from your relationship with your wife and how does this relationship impact these goals?

I no longer have any goals outside of my slave-life. I feel extremely fulfilled as a slave of Mistress Rebecca. The feeling of serving a Goddess is overwhelming and addictive!

59. What are your goals/wishes in your slave life, if any?

My goal in our Female Led Relationship is to endure ANY whim of my Mistress.

60. How do you manage the time to rest and “relax”?

I don’t have a lot of this! Usually Mistress decides what I do and when I’m done with chores or work I want to report to Her as fast as possible as I don’t want to waste time being without Her presence. I always hope for some relaxation right next to Her – either in form of a human furniture, like a leg stool for Her, or a pet sitting right next to Her on the couch or on the floor right next to Her Divine feet.

61. Please reveal one or more areas in your life that Mistress Rebecca may not be aware of that would most increase your humiliation/degradation if you were to make Her aware of them.

I’m very transparent with my Mistress, I don’t think I have any secrets. She knows all my weaknesses very well and uses them constantly against me.

62. Are you aware of Ms Scarlet and her BB and all the lovely CBT he experiences – if so how does this make you feel? Which would you fear the most?

Yes, I am aware of them. In fact my Mistress ordered me to thank Mistress Scarlet for making me a virgin. Mistress Scarlet was very rough with me, She described what a miserable life Her virgin slave has, how much he misses Her Pussy, and how he never got used to this situation, despite being a BAV for over 10 years. Truly terrifying! She then informed me that She is not interested in exchanging any opinions with me as She doesn’t waste Her time to chat with pathetic virgin puppets like me. So my personal experience with Mistress Scarlet was very humiliating.

My Mistress is not big on CBT, however, so I really don’t know how much bb suffers under Ms Scarlet’s strict hourly reapplications of Linnex to his clitty. I can just imagine it has to be painful.

63. slave, would you enjoy watching another sissy slave put through its place?

Absolutely, especially that this is something that my Mistress would enjoy as well. She once said that it would be lovely if I would have a “sissy-sister” that could help me with my chores and we both could entertain Her by putting a show for Her.