So finally it is! It was lots of work, that’s why I had to take My time. All subbies should remember: a Goddess has no dead lines! 🙂
I’d like to thank everyone who expressed interest in this project by posting questions to My slave. I have picked the most relevant questions (I’ve tried to pick as many as possible!) and organized them into this interview. The process of the whole thing looked like this: I was lying comfortably on My bed and asking the questions to My slave who was kneeling on the floor in front of My face. I instructed him to be very honest and say whatever he really thinks. This way his presence on this blog is limited to zero, as it should be. 😉 I have divided the interview into the topics, and I started with the question that have appeared multiple times from multiple readers! 🙂
FLR – Female Led Relationship:
- Do you realize how lucky you are?
Of course! It’s absolutely amazing to serve a Goddess like my Mistress. Nothing comes for free, however, and such a privilege costs a lot. A whole life and a slave’s soul, to be exact. Once you lower yourself to this position, sell your soul, and expose all your weaknesses there is no way back.
2. How did Mistress Rebecca’s domination of you evolve from you presumably being equal partners in your relationship to now often having no say in the cruel things that happen to you?
Well, we were never equal partners. It was clear from the beginning who’s personality is dominant and who’s submissive. My Mistress always knows how to get what She wants and I’m just a sucker for beautiful, dominant Ladies.
Ever since we’ve met I was in a role of a gentleman, offering Her anything She would like. I’d open doors for Her, give Her a ride, invite to good restaurants, buy nice presents. Mistress Rebecca, on the other hand, was a self-declared queer, very skeptical of males, having lots of experience in “non-traditional” relationships. I had to be very stubborn in order to win Her heart. Being somewhat financially successful and having very high cunnilingus skills definitely helped in keeping Her on my side.
The whole process of converting our relationship to the true FLR was long. Everything was happening gradually, good communication on both sides was the key.
3. Is there anything you hate so much that you would change your decision prior to your commitment to Mistress Rebecca?
Yes, there are LOTS of things that I hate! However it was never up to me to pick what I want and what I don’t want. My commitment was very clear: give all the power over my life to my beloved Mistress.
4. Do you ever regret bringing this life-style to the attention of your wife, I assume it has developed beyond what you had expected and perhaps hoped for?
Sometimes, especially when there is a struggle inside of me between the masculine instincts and my submissive nature. It doesn’t help when I see my Mistress’ Divine Body exposed either naked, semi-naked or dressed in some sexy clothes! The horniness can be so strong that it takes over my mind and I begin to sin. My mind is filled with lust, ill thoughts and I view my Goddess as an object to fuck. I then regret giving Her ABSOLUTE power to do whatever She wishes. I wish that one thing She would not be able to do: to take away the ability to penetrate my own Wife. I miss sex so much, I miss Her sweet, tight, lovely Cunt!
This, however, has become a very important part of our new life and in a long run I don’t regret anything. I wanted to be in Her full control and I am. She was the one who chose every single aspect of our relationship. I didn’t have any “requests” other than wishing to do whatever She wants!
5. Do you have sometimes weak moments, during which you have trouble in trusting your Mistress that She has your best interests in mind and would not do something to actually hurt you? Even just for a brief moment, where things get maybe a bit intense.
No, absolutely never. Mistress Rebecca is very cruel but She is also very intelligent and knows very well the limits of reality. Besides, my best interest is to be able to do my best at serving Her, so if She would do something against my interest She would go against Her own as well. 😉 I fully trust my Goddess and even during the darkest, longest, the most frustrating and painful punishments I know that She will be back.
6. How do you feel you have developed as a person in your devoted servitude to Mistress Rebecca?
I have developed into a religious fanatic. I worship my God every second of my miserable existence. Mistress Rebecca is my God and whatever She says is my Decalogue. That may seem like a weird development for many but hey! This lifestyle is definitely not for everyone.
7. If you could be in fantasy land and decide every aspect of this relationship yourself, what would it look like?
In the fantasy land I wish I would be able to sexually satisfy my Goddess and be able to penetrate Her at least on some rare occasions. I also wish I wouldn’t have to work and could spend more time with Her.
8. If there was one BDSM activity you could ask your Mistress to engage in (one she is currently not engaging in) which one would that be?
I really don’t know. I just do whatever Mistress wants me to do, so I don’t even bother to pick my favorite BDSM activities.
9. What do you dislike the most about the current status and the punishments you endure?
I think it’s pretty obvious by now that my most hated thing is my born again virginity. Aside from that I also hate being left for too long in the isolation bondage. I carve the presence of my Mistress so much!
10. Which punishments or treatments do you ‘enjoy’ the most?
I don’t think I enjoy any punishment. All of Mistress Rebecca’s punishments are really impossible to enjoy. If I would enjoy any of the punishments I could think that my wonderful Mistress is doing something wrong, which She’s obviously not!
11. Were there ever points in time where you thought that this may end in something that you didn’t want?
All the time. And those thoughts often become reality. As an example: the last time my Goddess started to have a Period I feared that She may just put me away in the Sensory Deprivation Bondage. I was working a lot that week and I really wanted to spend some time with Her, be able to see Her, serve Her, be around Her and maybe even cuddle Her if She would be in a mood. Unfortunately my Mistress has decided to store me in the basement. At night I had to go to my slave room to sleep alone in my small bed. I didn’t want any of those things to happen, I absolutely hate Sensory Deprivation Bondage (especially when left in it for most of the day in a diaper) but this is how it ended, because my Mistress didn’t feel like having my presence. And because She knows how much I hate it – that’s what turns Her on.
your Goddess – Mistress Rebecca:
12. Which behavior of your Mistress do you like the most?
I like… LOVE everything about Her! Her strong character, Her cruelty, Her sexuality, Her divine status. She is impossible to resist!
13. When experiencing pain does the fact you know your Mistress is gaining sexual pleasure from that allow you to take more than you ever thought possible.
Absolutely! Nothing turns me on more than Her sexual pleasure. I love seeing Her getting it as much as possible.
14. When in bondage and uncomfortable do you envision your Mistress happy and does that mitigate the experience so you can relax and endure more than you ever could before.
Yes. Sometimes I am unable to relax right away. Especially when put in full sensory deprivation bondage after the full day of work. I’m so desperate to see my Mistress, to be near Her, to smell Her. Frustration takes over and I start to feel very sorry for myself, cry and think how unfair all this is. Knowing that I’m in this situation because of my Goddess turns me on very much, and then I start to think about Her. “She put me in here because She felt like She doesn’t need my presence. She has to have a good time by Herself” – and this brings lots of warmth into my heart!
15. What would happen if you disobeyed an order from Mistress Rebecca?
I get punished. Duh. Punishments are always different and unpredictable. They completely depend on Mistress’ mood and whim. In a way this is way scarier than knowing what’s coming.
16. What areas of your service to Mistress Rebecca could you improve on?
I have to work on being patient and controlling my boyish horniness.
17. What part of your Mistress’ body gives you the most pleasure?
Her hands, if we’re talking strictly about sexual pleasure for my clitty. There are no other parts of Her body that would ever touch my penis – maybe aside from Her divine feet and lower legs when sometimes on very rare occasions She allows me to hump.
If we’re talking about pleasure in general then I would say Her Divine Pussy. Being able to lick it is so hot, no other part comes close when it comes to worshipping!
18. Is your Mistress sensitive in someway?
Yes, She is. She likes to feel sorry for me sometimes and tease me about it.
19. Do you want sometimes just take Her because She is your Wife and you can do that?
I absolutely can NOT do that! She is my Mistress and She doesn’t allow me to “just take Her”. But if we’re talking about pure fantasies then yes, of course. I often dream of taking Her when I go to sleep. I tell that Mistress sometimes and She laughs. She thinks it’s cute and pathetic at the same time as “there are no chances of that ever happening in the reality”.
20. What is the most degrading thing Mistress Rebecca has made you do?
She made me answer some questions in front of Her new Girlfriend. Questions like “are you allowed to have sex with your Wife?” and then ordered me to show Her my caged clitty. It was especially embarrassing because Her Girlfriend is a young, very attractive Female.
21. What is the most miserable situation Mistress Rebecca has put you in?
Denying me everything – even Her presence. Especially when it lasted for days. The weekend came and I was just put away for most of the day in the bondage, after I was done with all the chores. Immobilized, blindfolded, gagged and deaf. Not being able to see, feel. nor hear my Goddess. Truly miserable!
22. Does it continue to humiliate you when Mistress Rebecca exhibits you to friends or in public or are you so used to this treatment it no longer makes you uncomfortable?
Yes, it does continue to humiliate me. I don’t think I’ll ever be used to it, I’m very scared of what others think and Mistress knows it very well. And She of course uses it against me purely for Her own amusement.
23. Which of your Mistress’ two recently started Female Friendships you regret the most & which if you had the choice would you most like to see stop. Are you more jealous that ‘M’ has taken your place in your bed or would you like to see her stay there if it meant that the visits from Mistress Scarlet (& all that that entails) would stop.
Well, Mistress Scarlet was the one who has inspired my Mistress to make me a Born Again Virgin… She personally guided my Mistress on how to convert Her slave (that is: me) into a virgin puppet. So to answer your question: I’d much rather not be a virgin and let my Mistress enjoy M. as much as She wants, hoping that She won’t drain Her completely and there will be still something left for Her loyal slave!
24. What is your take on your Mistress’ new female relationship — how it affects you mentally?
It’s very degrading! They are both so hot and I can’t have any of them. I can’t fuck my Mistress but yet She gets to fuck this hot young Female… This is so unfair!
25. What would it mean to you if your Mistress never used you for your sexual services again (e.g. because She can have that satisfaction from Her Lesbian or another male lover)?
I’d probably forget about my virginity and beg to just lick Her Pussy. I love Her Divine Pussy so much!
BAVS – Born Again Virgin Status:
26. If you read Mistress Scarlet’s blog did you ever think that you would ever become a Born Again Virgin like bitch boy?
My Mistress is a regular reader and She made me read it too. She got inspired on Mistress Scarlet’s blog with the BAVS. On the beginning I thought She is just teasing me with this idea and I didn’t really think it will happen to me. I felt terribly sorry for bb. Now I feel sorry for myself as well.
27. Did you know when you last had sex that it would be the very last time you would ever have sex?
No, but I did know how my Mistress is – what She likes and what She dislikes. I knew very well that penetration is not Her favorite thing in the world. Each time we had traditional sex I felt like She is doing me a favor. I tried to do my best and make Her cum so She will allow me inside of Her more often. My Mistress however didn’t think that it is appropriate for me to be allowed inside of Her ever since my status was lowered to a subhuman. She said that She can’t see a submissive as a man and She doesn’t feel aroused when such a creature is entering Her.
Couple of months before becoming BAVS my Mistress ordered me to always use condoms whenever gained the privilege of penetrating Her. She told me that my inferior semen is not worthy to be inside of Her.
28. Forever is a very long time…what are your feelings of NEVER again penetrating with your clitty?
I feel terrified every time I think about it! Sex has become so distant to me that it almost feels like it’s not real. My Mistress trains me so hard on this aspect of our relationship that in my mind intercourse is a synonym of “IMPOSSIBLE”.
29. Have you truly accepted your permanent Born Again Virgin status or do you still hold onto some slim hope that one day your Mistress will relent and allow you to experience sex like a real man again?
I still fantasize about it and I have silly hopes that it will come true one day. However I wouldn’t dare to even suggest that it is a realistic hope. I know my Mistress very well and when She decides something there is no way of going back under no circumstances.
30. To be denied that simple pleasure, as being allowed to penetrate, is a terrible thing. Do you regret giving your Goddess this power?
Again, my Mistress can do whatever She wants. It was about Her full power over my life, there was no room for cherry-picking!
During the early stages of our relationship I expressed interest in being under Her control. She eventually said that it’s either ALL or NOTHING. “If we’re going to build a Female Led Relationship, then I will decide on every single aspect of that relationship” – She said.
31. What is the reason your Mistress has decided to make your Born Again Virgin Status permanent? Permanent is such an extreme!
There are 4 reasons:
- My Mistress is a sadist and She simply loves to take away what I love the most from me. That gives my Mistress incredible power-rush. It makes me, on the other hand, very miserable and Mistress enjoys seeing me in this state.
- My Mistress is my God, and She wanted to prove me that She can do whatever She wants. Making me a virgin is a constant reminder of how much power She has over me.
- She prefers cunnilingus over penetration.
- In Her eyes it is extremely inappropriate for a slave to penetrate a Female. Especially his own Mistress. Ever since I’ve become Her slave She can’t see me as a man anymore. Fully exposed, weak, and obedient male is a turn-off for Her and having me penetrating Her is just very awkward (in Her mind). She has informed me over the time that even if She would miss penetration She would seek it elsewhere. I will never appear on the list of possibilities when it comes to the people who can fuck Her. If She will ever miss being fucked by a man She will not consider me even for a second. It is heartbreaking for me, but that is how She truly feels about it and She just honestly told me that.
32. How has your life improved now that you are a Born Again Virgin?
I’m more in awe of my Mistress than ever before.
33. As a BAV would you give up your testicles, i.e. castration if Mistress so requires?
I’m really terrified of ideas people have on the internet. I truly hope that I will never have to give them up!
34. Why do you do it? If you don’t like sex you don’t have to have it. What is the point of being in a relationship with a woman without sex?
This is an example of extremely arrogant question. So you think that the only reason of being in a relationship with a Woman is to have sex? Love can exist without sex. Sure it’s hard but in my case it is totally worth it!
35. What chastity device are you kept in and has it ever been ‘upgraded’ to a smaller version?
Mistress Rebecca has variety of chastity devices but the one that I’m locked in for the most part of my life is CB-6000.
My Mistress has expressed interest in shrinking my clitty but so far there are no big changes and no need for a smaller version.
36. On average how often are you “released” from your chastity device for “relief”…and what does your “relief” normally entail.
It is very irregular, and completely depended on my Mistress’ whim. Sometimes my clitty doesn’t get any attention for 2 weeks, sometimes I can cum couple of times per week.
Luckily for me my Mistress enjoys stroking my little “thing” so if She’s in the mood I get a handjob from Her. A lot of times I am obligated to wear a condom. Sometimes I am allowed to hump my Goddess’ incredible legs (only the lower parts of them) and cum on Her shoes. I always have to clean all the mess my clitty makes.
37. Have you ever been kept denied so long, you have ended up having a wet-dream?
Yes, and it is embarrassing for me to talk about it. My Mistress wrote about one of those situations in Her My FLR 11 – Too much to handle
38. How do you manage the frustration and how do you overcomes the extreme urgency to feel pleasure at least, when your Mistress submits you in those (hot) situations like the one when She didn’t let you remove the chastity device to stroke yourself ? How did you manage to go to sleep after such a “heavy” experience?
Well, I didn’t manage that situation at all. I tried very hard to cum while locked in chastity… Which is near to impossible! It got me so excited, however, that I violated Mistress’ safe-space and touched Her body without Her consent.
Since I was ordered to take a cold shower going to sleep wasn’t that hard. It calmed me down a lot.
39. How you manage to hold between releases and opportunities to feel at least pleasure?
I concentrate a lot. Concentrate on hard work and on serving my Mistress. It is absolutely possible, look at some religions that require such a commitment to God. And Mistress Rebecca is my God, so it’s a very religious thing.
40. Is there any chore you particularly like or dislike?
I love serving my Mistress food and wine! Kneeling in front of Her, knowing that She is enjoying Herself and waiting for more orders is a beautiful thing!
I also like to be Her human-furniture but that can get a little bit annoying if it lasts for too long.
41. What are your worse menial chores you have to do?
Cleaning the stove and oven with my toothbrush.
42. Do you have (had) any training for your domestic skills, e.g. massage, cleaning or cooking courses?
Yes, my Mistress sent me to some of those. I also had to learn to cook some of Her favorite dishes.
43. On a scale from 1 to 10 how close are you to living up to your Mistress’ standards regarding your domestic chores?
That is a question for Mistress Rebecca, not me.
44. Do you receive ballet training, and if so what training and punishment are given?
I don’t receive ballet training.
45. What happens when you’re sick (say caught a cold or the flu)? Are you allowed a break or do you have to keep up with all your chores?
If it is a minor thing then I have to keep up with all the chores but I then get to go to bed early. Unfortunately that means that I’m sent to my slave-room away from Mistress. She doesn’t want me to pass my sickness on Her so I don’t get to enjoy Her presence.
If the sickness would be more serious then I have only one responsibility: get better as fast as possible.
Luckily I rarely get sick.
46. What does work for your Mistress mean to you?
It means commitment and privilege. Serving Her is amazing and brings lots of satisfaction!
47. Has Mistress put you on a strict diet and if so what does that look like? Is there anything you are not (ever) allowed to eat or drink?
I can’t ever eat sweets (especially candies) and drink alcohol (nor smoke cigarettes, by the way).
Being sober makes me my Mistress’ private chauffeur who is always ready to take an emergency ride and pick Her up (or give Her a ride) wherever She wishes. That way She never has to worry about getting drunk if She wishes to.
48. What’s it like being fed on scraps? Does this ever change to pet food if you have been unpleasing?
No, I never eat pet food. My Mistress cares about Her slave’s health and feeds me only good food. Her scraps still consist of a high quality food, since She eats like a Queen. And knowing that the food I eat was in someway processed by Her Divine mouth makes me excited. If She took a bite out of something then eating the rest of it means eating something that has Her saliva and teeth marks. ❤
49. What is the most inhumane thing that you have to consume?
The only thing like this is the dirt from the soles of my Mistress’ footwear. Other than that my Mistress always makes sure that I eat only healthy things.
you – the pathetic slave:
50. What do you think about yourself?
I don’t think about myself, I just think about my Mistress. 😉
51. Do you like yourself?
I think so, although I had some issues in the past. I’m a very weak man and before this relationship I just felt so incomplete.
52. Do you feel attracted to other Women?
Yes, I find M., my Mistress’ lover, very attractive.
53. Do you have dominance thoughts?
No. The most dominant thought I have is to ride my Mistress from behind and slap Her amazing ass.
— a very unrealistic fantasy (adds Mistress Rebecca with laughter).
54. In your opinion, if your Wife would ask you to make Her your slave would you be to Her as strict as She is now to you?
It is absolutely impossible for me to even imagine this kind of scenario. I am so deeply submissive and dominated by my Mistress that I can’t see how life could be any different. Even imagining sex with Her comes really hard sometimes, despite the fact that I did have that privilege in the past.
55. What does attract you?
Femininity, beautiful, delicate Females.
56. What does fulfill your slave life?
My Mistress, of course.
57. What does pain and humiliation mean to you?
A tool that helps putting a slave in it’s place. And that helps to remind the differences in statuses.
58. How fulfilled is your life as it is right now, what things do you strife for on a personal level aside from your relationship with your wife and how does this relationship impact these goals?
I no longer have any goals outside of my slave-life. I feel extremely fulfilled as a slave of Mistress Rebecca. The feeling of serving a Goddess is overwhelming and addictive!
59. What are your goals/wishes in your slave life, if any?
My goal in our Female Led Relationship is to endure ANY whim of my Mistress.
60. How do you manage the time to rest and “relax”?
I don’t have a lot of this! Usually Mistress decides what I do and when I’m done with chores or work I want to report to Her as fast as possible as I don’t want to waste time being without Her presence. I always hope for some relaxation right next to Her – either in form of a human furniture, like a leg stool for Her, or a pet sitting right next to Her on the couch or on the floor right next to Her Divine feet.
61. Please reveal one or more areas in your life that Mistress Rebecca may not be aware of that would most increase your humiliation/degradation if you were to make Her aware of them.
I’m very transparent with my Mistress, I don’t think I have any secrets. She knows all my weaknesses very well and uses them constantly against me.
62. Are you aware of Ms Scarlet and her BB and all the lovely CBT he experiences – if so how does this make you feel? Which would you fear the most?
Yes, I am aware of them. In fact my Mistress ordered me to thank Mistress Scarlet for making me a virgin. Mistress Scarlet was very rough with me, She described what a miserable life Her virgin slave has, how much he misses Her Pussy, and how he never got used to this situation, despite being a BAV for over 10 years. Truly terrifying! She then informed me that She is not interested in exchanging any opinions with me as She doesn’t waste Her time to chat with pathetic virgin puppets like me. So my personal experience with Mistress Scarlet was very humiliating.
My Mistress is not big on CBT, however, so I really don’t know how much bb suffers under Ms Scarlet’s strict hourly reapplications of Linnex to his clitty. I can just imagine it has to be painful.
63. slave, would you enjoy watching another sissy slave put through its place?
Absolutely, especially that this is something that my Mistress would enjoy as well. She once said that it would be lovely if I would have a “sissy-sister” that could help me with my chores and we both could entertain Her by putting a show for Her.